Welcome to this new article full of nostalgia and crappy pictures! During this not so blessed time of my life that was being a gothic teenager (I mean come on guys, this is the WORST period of our lives ever!) I was sad and angry at the whole world, and especially myself (and also really ugly :D ). I think creating those gave me a space to express myself as an introvert.
There was no instagram, no Facebook, but all the edgy dark artists were on Deviantart back then. That was I think the first community that allowed to share images and it was a draft of social medias as we know now! Even 15 years ago, there were already the likes, the followers, the comments. I remember a few superstars of Deviantart and remembering not understanding how these people got the attention. I remember being lost in the middle of so many creators doing their best. I remember I had no idea how to use Photoshop, and there was nothing online to help me out, to teach me how to master the tool. I remember not knowing how to use the settings on my cheap camera. I remember lighting my setup with my desk light and using my high school homework as a white background.
I also remember that all of this didn’t matter, I was simple experimenting, expressing myself and having fun doing it :)
I cringed so much over some of them but I am not ashamed, I started somewhere, and you can’t go full creative fine art awarded photographer from nowhere : you have to start, you have to learn, you have to find what your style is, you have to find out your vision, you have do do shitty pictures, thousands of them! This is not a race, this is a journey :) And I think it’s fun to me to see that I was already attracted to dark edgy stuff, experimenting a lot, and telling stories with my photographs! Because this is the foundation of my style now :)
So I am writing this for you guys, I am doing this post to encourage you to not let go, whatever you are creating. If you feel you are there now, just starting out, and you are flooded by photographers, musicians, videographers, artists, doing a better job, who have so many followers than you, and you don’t understand why. Just keep it up, learn your craft, and if you are passionate, you work will improve :) Do it for you, enjoy the journey, because it is all worth it. We are not all born with a natural talent, being discovered at 17, and being a superstar right away. Everyone loves a good success story « look at this amazing pretty photographer work and she is only 18 and doing it with her sister’s cracked iphone! ». This kind of sensationalism is sending the wrong information to the world and make us feel like if we are not discovered early, then we are not good enough, and we will never be succesful. This is so untrue, and the vast majority of us spent years and years building our crafts.
It is just like your kids drawing : you are not looking at your 3 years old nephew and say « this is shit, your composition sucks, your choices of colors are awful, and what were you even trying to represent? And also you won’t get any present this year because Santa Claus doesn’t exist! AHAH YOU DESERVE NO BETTER! » That would be TERRIBLE. Nope on the contrary we are in awe in front of their imagination, creativity and also because they don’t give a fuck about the rules and that makes some pretty awesome imaginative results. We can tell the technique is not there yet, but their imagination and the experimentation are limitless! So maybe we can look at our early work like this? And try to treat ourselves with kindness instead of being the mean uncle?
And who knows where I would be now if I hadn’t start with these?
How do you feel about your early work? Did you think you were going to be a rockstar at 19 and got disappointed it didn’t happen? How do you deal with the pressure of feeling your work is not good enough? I find the whole topic fascinating so don’t hesitate to open a conversation about it!
Lots of love et plein de bisous <3